I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
