actually, I'm a sock model
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
