i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
