i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
