At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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