were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
