those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
