You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
