dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
