from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
