I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
3 2 1 whiskey
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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