my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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