Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
