Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
