His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
