do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Randomize
