weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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