We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Less talking, more tequila
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
