youre lurking in front of me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
