Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
