so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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