I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize