I think im going to throw up on grandma
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
