I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
