Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
