The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
