Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize