Why are handjobs necessary in class?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
