I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
