Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
