Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
