can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
