happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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