nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize