May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
