I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
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