So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
