at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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