So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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