just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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