piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
