Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
