she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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