either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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