She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
