omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
