Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
pop tarts are not kleenex
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
