The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
They are going to name an STD after you.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
