How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
