He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
