If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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