I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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