U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
