You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
