Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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