she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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