remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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