Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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