Are we in a gay sports bar?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
