I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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