Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Randomize
