Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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